I liked liquor a little too much in 2019. It was kinda ruining my life lowkey. So I quit and went cold turkey for two years. Years went pretty well but I lost a lot of people, so I got drunk round Christmas. I was talking with someone for like 5 hours and after I hung up. I thought about what she'd told me. I just set up my laptop and hit record. I took another take when I was sober the next day, but the intro is the original take. I was completed wasted. This track is just me airing out all my demons. Many psychologists posit on Caravaggio's mental state due to his asocial lifestyle. On some level I feel a connection to this and Caravaggio's art.
lyrics
Now let's go, it's been like two years and
I haven't drank before but fuck it I'm drunk now so
Eight months from the time of this verse I'm on stage
I came to vibe out and you know how I play
The crowd fixate, some of you thought I wouldn't be great
But I shut down the night and I'm smiling through the haze
As I'm walking off I see a kid, he looks like me
Know he relates, his pupils dilate as I'm going by
I tell him have faith, have faith
Cause six months ago I was writing through the pain
Ignoring any requests to medicate
I'd rather self-destruct than do it as an act of faith
I'm a blood diamond, I belong in the pearly gates
But right now I'm fucking you in your hotel room
I'm living off snow, liquor and good sex
I'm wrestling with faith, I'm wrestling with success
I'm wrestling with addiction, the work of myself to death
And emotional taxes I can't afford to pay yet
Another one of my dreams came true
Man fuck this champagne, I want my dead friends back
I want to fail, I want to fall, I want what's left of my heart to crack
But they want my soul for the capital like South Korea
But that's my black gold, I learnt that shit from Nina
Let me ask you B, would you trust a flower doesn't want to bloom
Would you trust an actor doesn't want to act
Would you trust fiction if I said it was facts
I don't believe in heaven I want heaven right here
I said I don't believe in heaven I want heaven right here
I want heaven right here
I want heaven right here
The world is on fire, so am I
Light bleeding out this broken heart of mine
I fucked around and stole the shine
Then light dimmed, the gin sip memories
Gone fade with time, I'm sick of wack niggas trying to tell me
How to rhyme, if you were half of me, you'd be arrogant too
But you ain't, so thank god you were born you
Question mediocrity, my answer on cue
And if I could choose, I would've never fallen in love with the blues
My favourite colour, my world outside
Shade I see, cover my mother's eyes
I slipped my knot, felt freedom
You said you loved me, I was traumatized
I spilled benediction, swallowed music's prescription
That's an antidote for wasting time
But I hide my salvation between your hips
And I hide my soul between your lips
And I hide myself in all of this
Between grey and white matter where the thoughts eclipse
And as you lay on my bed, just remember
I don't believe in heaven I want heaven right here
I don't believe in heaven I want it right here
I don't believe in heaven I want you right here
I don't believe I want you right here
I want it right here.
credits
from WYLMBY?,
released May 28, 2023
Written and produced by: Ikenna Anyabuike
I started making music when I was probably around 12, I used to record songs and I had an overlay feature on my phone. It'd
let me express myself. Songs were terrible but I had fun, it was therapeutic. 10 years later it still is. I think the songs are better now though...more
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